Aralık 16, 2019

360 - Tiny Angel


                                              

So this story, is about a really close friend of mine
I love you, brother

My mates talk shit about their wives, but I love mine
Yeah we fight sometimes, but ain't that just life?
She's been pregnant now for some time, it took us years
And enough tries, I thought it wouldn't happen from my young life
From the drunk times, or when I tried drugs twice
I thought downstairs had gone and messed it up, right
The doctor told me that I need to stop stressin'
The only thing that's working against us is just time
That was true, two months by
My wife called me up while I was workin' at the pub, right
She told me I was gonna be a daddy
We both broke down, she said there's something that I done right
I called my mother, told her I was gonna be a father
Mum cried, so did I, I was tongue-tied
I can't explain this feelin' but I love life
I've never had a purpose and this had just become mine
To create this little person that's fun size
A little bit of her, and a little bit of me
But I pray he gets his mum's eyes
I say he 'cause I've always wanted a son, right
The ultrasound said it's a boy, my little ray of sunshine
It dawned on me, I can't wait to see my son rise
You know what they say about time though? It does fly
Fast forward nine months and suddenly it's crunch time
It's been a few days of goin' through contractions
Gotta stopwatch timin' every moment that it happens
We reached five minutes so it's hospital time
I call ahead to see the doctors arrive, my wife's laughin'
Now I properly drive like the cops are behind
But there was barely any traffic so we got there in time
I'm a little scared, but she ain't got a worry in sight
She's a warrior, exactly what you want in a wife
It's been several days of epic pain, every day she wakes up
Finally she's comin' to that second stage of labour
I sit next to her, squeeze on her hand
Put a sponge up on her head and say, "Breathe if you can
I love you so much, baby, you're so strong
I could never do this but you so easily can"
She said the pain is insane like her abdomen's ruptured
Like someone's got a knife, and they're stabbin' her stomach
She's like "We have to do somethin'," the nurse said, "It's natural
Relax, it's just a sign that it's actually coming"
She's like "No, it's too much, it's too hard to get out"
I'm sayin' any words I think'll help at calmin' her down
Doctor's like, "You're nearly through the worst part of it now"
Take a look and see my little king is startin' to crown
They all tellin' her to push, and she's screamin'
She's saying that it hurts, I tell her to keep breathin'
It's like 'push' is the only word that they've said now
Then I'm shocked by the massive scream she let's out
The doctor's like "Yes, now the head's out"
And then I watch as he quickly pullin' the rest out
It's so amazin' to see my son in the flesh
I can't help but notice he hasn't taken a breath, now
They put a little plastic thing in his mouth
While the doctor's two fingers are slightly pumpin' his chest down
I start panicking, something's gone wrong
They push me to the side, I can barely see what's goin' on
He's not breathin', they need to resuscitate him
He's suffocating, I see that it's something major, I feel
So helpless, I wish I could come and save him
I pray that my son'll make it, it's taking 'em fuckin' ages
Everyone's in shock, I'm just listenin' in
Holdin' my breath, wishin' I could give it to him, fuck
At 20 minutes, now they're stoppin'
They turn around, they say, "We've lost him"
I'm in shock, I can't talk
I'm starin' at the ground, I can't walk
They hand him to us, can't believe the size of him
The most beautiful thing I've ever seen but there's no life in him
My wife's cryin' like, "Why aren't they reviving him?"
I said, "They tried for 20 minutes" she's like, "Try again"
Now I'm feelin' like I'm stuck in hell
This is the worst pain I've fuckin' felt
I've been ten years clean, but now I'm drunk and on the drugs as well
I'm doin' anything to numb myself, but nothin' helps
I believed in God, for that I feel dumb as hell
Can someone please tell God to go and fuck himself
I'm sorry, yo, it's hard to be faithful
It's painful, heaven must be runnin' out of angels
He died from asphyxiation, no air in his lungs
A parent should never have to bury their son
Especially one that's so precious it has barely begun
That's one thing in life that should never be done
I prayed for a son, and they blessed me with one
My biggest gift, now his presence is up
And I'm crying at the thought, he won't ever feel a hug
Or the tenderness of love that he'd be gettin' from his mum
Sent him from above, but why take him
It's like I'm being punished for the negative I've done
And it's killin' me that Christmas time is barely in a month
So I'm doin' what I have to do to spend it with my son
(No)

Where did you go?
Are you alone?
How did you get there?
I need you at home
Where did you go?
Are you alone?
How did you get there?
I need you at home

I need you at home







album: "Vintage Modern" (2017)

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